Mary Agnes Collins (nee Coffey) 1899 – 14/2/1961

Biography as told by Con Collins, her eldest son, in 2005. Memories by Kathleen Collins, wife of Mary’s second son, Bill, have also contributed to this biography.

Mary Agnes Collins (nee Coffey) was born in 1899 in Cosgrove South, Victoria. She was the daughter of Thomas Coffey and Catherine (Kitty) O'Brien. Kitty died when the children were very young – Mary was about six at the time of her mother’s death. She had a brother, William, and a sister Kathleen Marcella. Mary Agnes and her sister, Kathleen, were raised by a strict aunt in the Caniambo and Gowangardie areas. Her brother, William, and father, Thomas, disappeared out of their lives.

Mary, in keeping with the times, did not receive the assistance that she needed to grieve and accept the loss of her own Mother and, consequently, missed her until the day she died herself.

Mary never talked about her teenage years so there is a gap until she married Cornelius Charles (Snr) on 30 August 1920 in Glenferrie, Victoria. They had three children: Kathleen (1921), Cornelius Charles (Jnr) and William Thomas.

The death of Mary’s first child, Kathleen, child caused unresolved grief due to the circumstances of that loss*.

In 1922 the family moved to Beechworth, Victoria. The children were raised as Catholics and sent to St Joseph’s School. Once a week she walked half way to the school with a hot lunch. Con and Bill would meet her at a small creek bridge and have a picnic.

It was widely known that Mary was an excellent cook and housekeeper in every possible way. She was a great cook and was adopted by the local football club and the local cricket team to head the many fundraising events that required ‘goodies’. She also supplied some of the cakes at the monthly Euchre parties. Mary and Con Snr did not have very much money to spare, but they made certain that Con and Bill were always well dressed and fed.

Mary had quite a temper that she mainly kept in check. Her son, Con, remembers a night when the family of four was playing Ludo. He said that in one game she was going very well. She only needed one on the dice to make it to safety. He says, “Dad had a shot before her and threw three sixes and a one to make a total of 19. It was the exact amount to catch up with Mary and send all her chips back to base. It took us all a half an hour to find all the chips after Mum sent the board flying.”

Kathleen (Bill’s wife) remembers Mary often telling her how she did her block when she lost at a game of e.g. Snakes & Ladders, and would, believe it or not, tear the board up!

She had a short fuse, but recovered quickly.

The family moved back to Melbourne (North Fitzroy) in 1934. While waiting to obtain a house, they boarded in King William Street, Fitzroy. To country people, this was a very wild area. Especially as they were told Squizzy Taylor used to live a few houses down the street.

Later that year, they bought a house at 310 (old number) Albion Street, West Brunswick. Mum soon made herself popular with the neighbours. She always said her cooking skills dropped when she had to cook with a gas stove. She missed the wood, sand enclosed country stove.

Her roast dinners were famous along with her incredibly high scones. When her sister, Kath, (who never married) became psychotic, Mum had a sleepout built in the backyard and looked after her until she was admitted to Mont Park where she died of a stroke in 1956. She was a VERY generous lady and would take the coat off her back if she thought someone needed it. How proud she was of her two sons, Cornelius and William (Con and Bill) and was very fond of her first daughter-in-law, Bridget (nee Lennon) who was married** to Con. Kathleen (second daughter-in-law) remembers how Mary, over the Sunday roast on a number of occasions, asked “When are you getting married”. Mary made Kathleen welcome immediately. A day at the races was a pleasant outing for her. Playing cards was another point of enjoyment.

Barbara was the first grandchild and was a joy to Mary. She was very spoilt and loved. Barbara’s memories are of a wonderful grandmother who would tell stories, make up games to tempt her to eat her vegetables and warm her cold feet by hand. She also inherited Mary’s short fuse! Mary Therese (Gough nee Collins) was 'on the way' when Mary Agnes died and she was quite excited about another little one coming into her family. Michael, in picture on left, was Kathleen and Bill’s first born and Mary was so happy that she and Kathleen’s late Father danced around the kitchen. Kathleen recalls, gratefully, how beautifully she looked after her when she returned from hospital. The next grandchild, Paul, was a bigger baby and Mary delighted in telling people of his size. Mary very much enjoyed the ‘new gadget’ of the 50s – television. She would stay up very late watching it. She obtained her driver’s licence for the first time when she was 57 – on her first try. Her son, Con comments, “It is regretful that Mum didn’t open up much about her childhood as there is sure to be a great tale to be told of her sad, younger life. Her nature was such that she did not want to impose her sorrow on her children.”

*Many years after their marriage, Mary’s son Bill and his wife, Kathleen, attended what is called a Healing Mass and placed the name of the little one near the Altar trusting that this action would bring healing to the Collins Family for this loss.

** Here is a letter Mary wrote to a friend after the wedding of Con and Bridget (known as Sue or Suzie). It gives some personally written insight into Mary Agnes Collins. And also gives a good description of Con (Jnr) and Susie’s (Bridget) wedding.

(Address removed for privacy purposes)

My dear Nancy, Anne & all

Now that all the excitement is over, I must drop a few lines to you. First, I must tell you how disappointed we were that you could not come Nancy. I had Con and Sue's room ready for you and enough cooked for a week so that we would have nothing to do but talk.

However, I knew if you possible could, you would have come Nancy. I only hope it wasn't sickness that stopped you. Do hope that you are all well.

Con (Snr) has been much improved since a week ago and we are hoping it isn't temporary. It seems too good to be true as he has gone through a lot of misery these last few months and was looking very bad. We are keeping our fingers crossed for him. I think he was the proudest man in Melbourne on Saturday. Everything went off lovely Nancy. They had a perfect day and great credit is due to Susie's (Bridget) mother for the breakfast. She spared no expense - I do wish you and Bernie were there to see the tables Nancy. The flowers were beautiful - all decorated baskets of all kinds of flowers and the banquet hall at the Victoria is really lovely. Huge mirrors around wall studded with red lights and huge bowls of all kinds of gladiolas everywhere not forgetting all the lovely palms. The meal was just lovely. Thin slices of fowl but about a half breast on each plate and a lot of ham. All kinds of salads and mashed potato with chopped up parsley brought around by waitresses. Trifles, jellies and cake and plenty of fruit punch, beer and wine.

Father Dillon, only a young priest, officiated and I think he enjoyed every minute of it - in fact he said it was the nicest breakfast he had ever been at and spoke so nicely of Susie when he said he had known her over five years. The lads and Dad excelled themselves in their speeches. We had Bernie booked for a speech so he was lucky in that respect (I'll bet he thinks he was).

The cake was beautifully decorated Nancy. Little wedding bells hanging all around the bottom and middle tiers and a mirror with a swan on it on the bottom tier. On the very top - a very nice basket of flowers. But they had a photo taken by someone of the cake so if they turn out all right, will send you one and you will be getting a piece of cake when they come back Nancy.

Susie looked lovely and dainty. Just a tight filling bodice in white marquisette worked beautifully in the front - a bouquet of gardenias and also the same flowers in her hair. Her only bridesmaid (her sister) looked very nice in pretty blue marquisette and carried pink carnations. It was a lovely frock.

After the breakfast (I forgot to tell you they had an organist in the church and a pianist played at the reception most of the time) we went to Mrs Lennon's (Suzie's mother) and waited there until it was time for the young ones to catch the train. Plenty of people and plenty of all types of drink and refreshments. It must have cost her a lot of money. 70 guests sat down and the price was put up to 9/6 a head about a fortnight before the wedding. You can't beat them can you.

Susie wore a pretty light blue frock away. Black hat with pretty flowers, black gloves and bag.

Tell Ann I had to act the lady for once. The chap who puts all these weddings through the breakfast arranges the bride and groom at the top of the steps leading into the banquet hall and in a semi-circle, also best man and bridesmaid, the bride and grooms' mothers and fathers. Then the guests all come by and shake hands and get introduced. Then the piano strikes up a tune - a march of some kind - and led by the bride and groom we march to the wedding table. Princess Elizabeth wasn't in it. Then this chap announces the guests in turn and tells them where to sit if you like.

The presents were displayed at Lennon's place and they were lovely ones too. I will try and think of most of them and write them down. A pretty bedroom lamp (electric) pale pink, a very nice candlewick bed spread (pink) a hearth rug, an oak tray with silver handles and another pretty tray with glass top, a box of small and big knives- box cake forks and servers, dessert spoon, a lovely hall table (red wood one of those half tables goes flat against the wall - a very pretty silver sandwich tray with an embossed rose in the centre - a pretty pink wicker soiled linen basket - a set of saucepans. Some very pretty ornaments and dishes (take too long to describe Nancy). 6 very nice sugar basins (silver ones). Mrs Lennon gave them a wireless - a small one cost 27.10 (pounds). She also got some very nice linen. Mr Dale next door is giving them one of those nice coffee tables but it isn't quite finished off yet. He is making it himself. They got 55 (pounds) in money (as far as I know) and I know there are several things I have forgotten with so many people about that you don’t notice every present. The old fellow at Brighton forked out 10 (pounds). Hurt himself didn't he? Con got a nice presentation at work. He could choose what he wanted so he got the most for his money. A very nice chrome and white cigarette stand and an electric jug and one of those "shovels" to lift cake up with. They think they are very lucky.

They went to Belmont Hotel (outside Geelong) for the first weeks honeymoon. Then they go on to Torquay for a fortnight.

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